


fighting something fierce

by wrnkledtime



Series: to the end of the world [7]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Cobra Swan, F/M, Family Bonding, Fluffy Angst, OUAT season 5, angsty fluff, hurt comfort, post 5x15, spec fic, swan jones family, wahey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:38:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6396832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrnkledtime/pseuds/wrnkledtime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he's fought a long and hard battle with a fierce ache somewhere deep down inside his chest - now all he feels is love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fighting something fierce

The question as to what their next step is to discover the truth behind Hades’ story lingers in the air. Like a flip of a switch, the moment is over as Henry announces that he’s hungry, his voice tinged with a hint of disbelief as he states that it’s been hours since they all last ate. That earns a laugh out of Regina before she proposes that they all get something to eat at Granny’s, but then Snow catches Emma’s steadfast gaze on a weary and emotionally-exhausted looking Killian.

“Why don’t we let Killian rest,” Snow suggests, her gaze set on her daughter. At the mention of Killian’s name, Emma and Killian both turn their heads to look at her simultaneously and Snow has to bite her lip to hold back a smile at seeing them so in sync. “It’s been a long day,” she continues at David and Henry’s questioning expressions. “We could bring something back for you two, if you want.”

Emma turns her head to face Killian, her expression simply saying that the decision is his. Killian regards her carefully before a small smile pulls at the corners of his lips, and Emma smiles easily and reassuringly in response. Snow watches the exchange with a soft, knowing smile as Killian turns back to face her, his own grateful smile gracing his lips before he nods in affirmation.

“We’d appreciate that very much,” Killian responds. “Thank you, Lady Snow.”

With a roll of her eyes Snow steps towards him, her arm stretching out towards him as he hands himself over to her with only a slight moment of hesitation. She wraps him up easily, despite the height difference, and she rubs a hand against his back before pulling away. “No need for titles,” she reminds him. “We’re all family here.”

Killian nods, his words betraying him at the sight of her genuine smile. Snow steps around him then, but not before throwing one last smile over her shoulder towards Emma, and she takes David’s hand in hers as Regina ushers them out of the kitchen.

A shadow casts to the side of him and Killian turns to face Henry, a small and hesitant smile on the boy’s lips. For a minute, Killian takes the time to marvel at how tall Henry’s grown within the past few months alone, and just how much he’s starting to resemble Emma the older and older he gets. Without a second to spare, Henry shuffles himself into Killian’s personal space before throwing his lanky arms around him.

“Sorry about Uncle Liam,” Henry says after a moment, his voice muffled against the leather of Killian’s jacket. Killian gapes down at Henry, not knowing what to say and all too aware of Emma’s gaze lingering on them, a smile surely permanent on her lips. Henry looks up at Killian then, his arms still wrapped around him and a little grin settled onto his face. “I’m really glad that you decided to stay.”

Before his emotions can get to the best of him, Killian lowers his arms to wrap them around Henry in response tightly. Killian clears his throat and blinks, feeling overwhelmed and unsure of what to do with the affection oozing out of himself.

“Aye,” Killian manages, a smile settling onto his own features as Henry pulls away to look up at him again. “As am I, my boy.”

Henry grins fully, stepping away and rushing over to Emma’s side to give her a hug of her own, as well as a swift peck on her cheek. Emma ruffles his mop of hair affectionately and Henry scrunches up his nose in response as he backtracks and makes his way out of the kitchen. Killian’s eyes follow him, and he catches sight of Snow and David lingering in the hallway, genuine smiles atop their lips as David wraps an arm around Henry’s shoulders.

Together they walk out of the house, the heavy thuds of their shoes atop the hardwood floors and the soft murmurs of their voices the only sounds left in the house before they disappear with a soft click of the front door.

A comfortable silence engulfs Killian and Emma, and the fact that they’re finally left alone again settles into Emma’s mind. She glances at him then, taking in his face masked with pensiveness and reflection. Knowing that he’ll more than likely over think himself to death by the time the rest return, she turns to face him fully with her body weight leaning on the kitchen counter.

“Killian,” she prompts gently, smiling slightly as he shakes his head, as if suddenly realizing that he had been too deep in his thoughts, before taking Emma in and mimicking her position. “Are you okay?” Emma asks as he tilts his head towards her. Killian’s gaze on her is so steady and so tender that after a mere few seconds of having his eyes locked on hers, Emma has to avert her eyes, pursing her lips and fighting back a blush that’s creeping up her skin. She steadies her wild heartbeat with a deep, silent breath, and Killian smiles knowingly before he reaches up and flicks away a particularly wavy strand of her hair off of her shoulder with the curve of his hook.

Killian hums lowly before responding, “Aye, just thinking.”

“Do you,” Emma begins, albeit hesitantly. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Killian purses his lips and his expression morphs into that of thoughtfulness again as he mulls over her suggestion, and much to her relief, he nods.

“There’s a lot on my mind,” Killian says, stopping short suddenly. “I’m not sure how to say all of it.”

Emma smiles in understanding, “We have time,” she reassures as she reaches out and takes his hand in hers. Unable to do anything but follow and unable to resist the happy look in her eyes, Killian allows her to lead him to the sofa where she had healed him.

Killian plops down onto the sofa with a sigh, grateful for the chance to stretch out his limbs as weariness sinks in. His heart feels heavy at the loss of his brother, again, but he knows that Liam has finally moved onto his next big adventure. He feels Emma settle down next to him, her knees bumping against his as she turns to face him. She props her elbow onto the sofa and leans her head into the palm of her hand as she studies him. With a deep breath, Killian begins voicing the thoughts that have been plaguing his mind.

“I suppose,” Killian swallows. “The first thing that I can think of is that I want to be a better man.” The words rush out from his lips and Emma opens her mouth to reply, but he doesn’t give her the chance to interrupt. “By that I mean that I don’t want the way I perceive things to block me from realizing the truth.” Killian turns to face Emma as he takes in her wide eyes. “Like today, Liam had lied to me, straight to my face and I didn’t believe you when you said that he was hiding something. I hurt you. Again.”

“You can’t blame yourself for that,” Emma replies with a shake of her head. She sits up, resting her hand on his thigh as she leans towards him. “And you can’t blame Liam for that, either. He made a deal with Hades, we didn’t know that and we didn’t know what that entailed. He was just doing his job of being the protective older brother, the one thing he still knew how to do, even after all these years.”

Killian nods his head slowly, allowing her words to sink in before he frowns slightly, “I just - for the longest time it had just been Liam and I, and now I have your parents and Henry -”

“And me,” Emma interjects eagerly.

“Aye,” Killian laughs. “And you. And I don’t want to betray anyone, I guess is what I’m trying to say. I don’t want to be a bad role model for Henry, because I see the lad as my own to a degree, even if he doesn’t. I don’t want to let anyone down again.”

“You could never,” Emma begins as she cards her fingers through his fringe and pushes it back. “Let any of us down, okay? We all make mistakes and it’s just a matter of learning how to fix them and make things right, I’ve learned that the hard way.” Emma smiles at him as he studies her with a gentle look in his eyes. “Besides, Henry practically thinks that you hang the stars up every night. He’s just a bit stubborn when it comes to showing it.”

“I can certainly see where the lad gets that trait from,” Killian responds teasingly. Emma snorts out a laugh, smacking him across his shoulder lightly and relishing in the sound of his chuckle as he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead out of gratitude. Emma closes her eyes, savoring the warmth and softness of his lips before tipping her head upwards, allowing her nose to graze the underside of his chin.

“That all changed when I met you,” Emma murmurs. She peels her eyes open, shifting away from him and playing with the strands of hair against the nape of his neck as he smiles sweetly at her. “Go on,” Emma urges benevolently. When he doesn’t, Emma pauses her ministrations in fiddling with his hair and she glances at him to find himself in yet another daze of thoughtfulness. She taps her fingertips against the corner of his lip before leaning down to press a kiss against his skin. “I want to hear what you’re thinking. Whatever it may be - it matters to me”

Killian lets out a heavy breath that he hadn’t realized he was holding before he rolls his neck and leans back against the sofa before turning to face her.

“I want a future with you,” he says without qualms.

“I do, too,” Emma responds quickly. “More than anything.”

“But what if I’m not cut out for it?” Killian asks, and Emma falls silent. Confusion takes over her features and he catches sight of a flash of panic in her eyes. He leans forward, letting their fingers intertwine together easily before he squeezes her hand reassuringly. “There’s this fierce feeling in my chest that I feel like I’m always fighting, because I feel like I just don’t know how to go about being the best that I can be.” The words spill out from his lips and he smiles, a lonely, self-deprecating smile. “I don’t know how to be a father,” he says quietly. “I thought I did with Baelfire, but I ended up betraying him, hurting him.” Killian peers up at Emma through his lashes. “I don’t want that to happen with Henry, or with,” Killian swallows as he gestures towards the baby crib a few feet away from them, his gaze steady on Emma’s as she pointedly blinks back tears. “Anyone else. I don’t want to end up hurting you more than I have already, Emma.”

“You won’t,” Emma insists with an aggressive shake of her head. “Killian, sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to be a mom. All of the time, actually, especially as of late. And the only, only way you’d ever let me down is if you give up. So don’t. Don’t give up, not yet, and don’t let your thoughts get to you, no matter how fierce, because we still have so much time.” Emma searches his eyes before taking his face between her warm hands.

“Emma,” Killian breathes out as she strokes his cheek with her thumb.

“We have all of the time in the world once we get out of here,” Emma whispers, leaning forward to press their foreheads together as the tips of their noses brush lightly. “And I can’t wait to spend all of it with you.”

The end of her sentence is muffled against his lips as he surges forward and captures them with his. Emma laughs delightedly against his smile, and his breath stills in his chest as she nips on his bottom lip, urging him to slow down. They breathe each other in as their kiss turns languid and sweet, and Emma shifts above him, falling slightly into his lap as his hand slips under her sweater and grazes the soft skin of her stomach.

“We’re back!” A voice suddenly calls out followed by the purposefully loud shutting of the front door. Emma and Killian jolt apart and it takes them a moment to recognize the voice as Snow’s as they mirror each other with equally giddy smiles plastered onto their faces. Emma slips off of Killian’s lap before wiping her thumb against his bottom lip. His eyes sparkle with happiness as he winks at her.

A series of footsteps file in through the hallway and the sounds echo through the house before David’s head pops in through the doorway with his hand covering his eyes. He peers through his fingertips, narrowing his eyes at the two of them before calling out that the coast is clear and striding in, a grin on his face and the comforting aroma of Granny’s grilled cheese wafting from the brown bags in his hand. Emma rolls her eyes at her father’s antics, and soon enough the room is filled with their family again.

Henry darts over to the sofa, plopping himself down between Emma and Killian before asking Killian a series of questions about him and his brother. Emma watches Killian over the rim of her hot chocolate, a fond grin on his lips as he launches into a tale of adventure that him and his brother had endured when they were mere servants on a ship. His story quickly captures the attention of everyone around him, their eyes bright and intrigued as they take in his words.

By the end of the evening, when they’re all content, sleepy, and stretched out for the night across various places in the house, Henry is snuggled into Killian’s side and Emma’s arms are wrapped around the both of them, and the only feeling that Killian fights from bursting out of his chest, is love.


End file.
